


Where's the Beef?

by karasunovolleygays



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bara Cafe AU, M/M, Mentions of Dangly Bits, colleagues to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22710454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunovolleygays/pseuds/karasunovolleygays
Summary: Iwaizumi took the job because it paid well, but he kept it because Sawamura showed him the ropes of the job — and a little bit of fun on the side.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	Where's the Beef?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [penstrikesmidnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penstrikesmidnight/gifts).



Iwaizumi took a deep breath before he strode through the door for his first day of work at his weekend job, something to earn his keep while his college courses were in session. It wasn’t the usual yard work and such he tended to go for when scrounging up some extra cash in high school.

In fact, it wasn’t anything like anything he had ever done before.

_ Where’s the Beef? _ was like every other yakiniku restaurant on the outside, but inside was an entirely different universe. Instead of servers decked in proper trousers and button-up shirts, all of the (totally male) front of the house staff wore skin-hugging tank tops over spandex shorts. The only exception was the hostess, who wore a different yukata every day of the week.

It was half an hour before opening, and Iwaizumi slipped through the kitchen and into the changing room in the back. Each guy had a locker to keep his normal clothes. He had no intentions on wearing something like that on the bus; it looked like nobody else did, either.

A couple of other guys were in the changing room, shimmying into their shorts, including the one whose locker was right next to Iwaizumi’s. Keeping his eyes on task unpacking his bag and not on the thong-clad ass next to him, Iwaizumi said, “Uh, not to be annoying, but I’m new and I’ve never done anything like this before.”

His neighbor, whose locker placard identified him as Sawamura Daichi, laughed while the waistband of his shorts snapped into place. “We haven’t had fresh meat in a while.”

“Gee, thanks,” Iwaizumi grumbled, sparking another bout of laughter from Sawamura. He held up his shorts and wrinkled his nose. “How is this thing  _ not _ going to crush my junk?”

Sawamura winced next to him. “I don’t know why they don’t tell new guys this, but you should get a cup because those will totally crush your junk.” He shot Iwaizumi a wan smile. “I’d lend you one, but . . . yeah, you probably wouldn’t want that.”

“Agreed.” Eyeing the shorts once again, Iwaizumi sighed, chanting over and over in his head that they were just like volleyball shorts, even if they were typically favored by female players.

Or maybe he had been doing it out loud.

Sawamura coughed. “Did you say volleyball shorts?”

“Unfortunately, I probably did.” Iwaizumi dropped on the bench nearby and started peeling himself out of his street clothes, stopping once he was about to slide off his boxers to expose the jet black thong underneath, aborting the motion with a groan. “Are the thongs really necessary? How am I supposed to work when I have a wedgie all day?”

Clapping Iwaizumi on the shoulder, Sawamura sat next to him and shrugged. “Panty lines don’t sell the product, dude. You’ll get used to it. Just think, girls wear them on purpose.”

Iwaizumi resigned himself to the strangest uniform he had ever worn and finally slipped off his boxers so he could wriggle his way into the first pair of hot pants he had ever worn.

“Wow, what the fuck?” Iwaizumi’s eyes bulged when the gusset of the shorts settled into place, squashing his nethers just like he had predicted. No matter how much he adjusted, they were too tight not to be distracting. Cheeks red, Iwaizumi groaned and asked, “Okay, I surrender. Can I borrow a cup?”

“Sure.” Sawamura fished around in his locker until he produced a (thankfully clean-looking and odorless) athletic cup. “It’s a little weird without a jock strap, but it’s better than turning your balls into peanut butter.”

Once the cup was wangled into place, Iwaizumi’s sigh of relief was audible. “Now I see why they offer so much for this job. It’s hazard pay.”

Sawamura nodded. “Yeah, but it’s only miserable for the first few days. Once you get used to it, it’s not so bad. You know, kind of like getting into drinking coffee.” He whipped off his plain t-shirt and slipped on a black tank top with the restaurant’s name emblazoned on the front, and his given name on the back. Fully in uniform, Sawamura splayed his arms out like it was his big reveal. “Boom. Done.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “Well, if your eyes aren’t screaming and you’ve been here a while, I’m sure I’ll learn to suck it up.” Following suit with his uniform shirt, Iwaizumi turned a circle for inspection, earning a thumbs up. “Cool. Ten minutes down, eight more hours to go.”

Sawamura offered a handshake. “By the way, my name’s Sawamura Daichi, but you can just call me Daichi.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.” Accepting the handshake, with a shrug, he added, “I suppose you can call me Hajime because it’s plastered on my back.”

“Deal.”

Sawamura led the way, and for the rest of the day, Iwaizumi shadowed him to learn the ropes — how to take and ring up orders, how to turn over tables, where to find things, and what to do when someone gets grabby. The work itself wasn’t difficult, but the pace was blistering.

Once their shift ended and the evening servers took over, Iwaizumi and Sawamura trudged back into the locker room and dropped wearily on the bench.

“Holy shit, I think my feet are gonna fall off.” Iwaizumi pried off his shoe and rubbed his aching foot. “Man, and I thought running suicides was brutal.”

Stretching his limbs with a loud yawn, Daichi nodded. “Yep. You’ll get used to it, though. That and the beer can thing.”

At the mention of the showy destruction of beer cans upon their person, Iwaizumi’s chest started to ache at the thought. “What’s the point of doing that, anyway? So I can crush an empty beer can against my chest. Big friggin deal.”

“Girls like that stuff,” Daichi explained. “Doing stupid macho stuff that would make your mom slap you upside the head is kind of the point. And having your own special thing will get you better tips, too.”

Iwaizumi massaged his other foot and huffed. “Easy for you to say, Mr. Crush A Beer Can Between Your Thighs. What do you squat, anyway?”

“About 160.” Sawamura popped off his shoes and wriggled his toes in relief. “Ah, that never gets old.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi murmured, still gawking in shock at Sawamura. “How the hell do you have that kind of leg strength?”

A spark of pride flared in Sawamura’s gaze, and the two of them chatted in-depth about workout regimes until the next server off a half hour after them came into the locker room. “Hey, uh, get the hell out of here while you still can.”

Sawamura’s gaze flew to the clock on the wall, and he hissed, “Shit, he’s right.” He jerked his jeans over his work shorts and his t-shirt over his tank. “C’mon, I’ll show you the escape route.”

Following suit, Iwaizumi trailed Sawamura to the back door he had entered. Instead of taking the alley leading out to the street, where a bus stop sat so conveniently, Sawamura led them the opposite direction until they emerged in the parking lot of a movie theater. 

“When you go this way, nobody will notice where you came from, so they don’t do anything creepy like follow you.” Sawamura gave him a wry smile. “It sucks, but eh. I suppose most guys dream of being stalked by girls.”

Iwaizumi shuddered. “Gross. Is this what it’s like to be a chick?”

“Yeah, but probably not as bad.” They arrived at a small silver hatchback, and Sawamura gestured toward it. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

His groin celebrating not having to ride home on the bumpy bus with a cup vacuum sealed to his body, Iwaizumi whispered a prayer to no one in particular. “Thanks, Daichi. I appreciate you taking care of me today.”

Seated in the car, Sawamura elbowed Iwaizumi. “No problem. Glad to help.”

The car lurched into motion, and Iwaizumi sagged into the seat in relief, only shaking to life often enough to direct Sawamura to the campus dorms. Sawamura handed Iwaizumi a scrap of paper with a number scribbled on it when they arrived. “Call me if you need anything. Or if you wanna hang out

Iwaizumi was almost sad to get out. Sawamura was an easy presence. His quick laughter and laissez-faire approach to nonsense were infectious and relaxing. But say goodbye, he did. “See you tomorrow?”

“You bet.” Winking, Sawamura shot Iwaizumi a finger gun and pulled away from the curb, leaving Iwaizumi behind to wonder how he was supposed to be chill while returning another guy’s cup, and also how fate had landed him in the locker next to the most down to earth guy on the planet.

As Sawamura had predicted, Iwaizumi did rapidly grow accustomed to the work. Tremulous hands bearing trays of food and drink now sailed through the dining room and not onto the floor, and even the dreaded banana hammock stopped being a figurative and literal pain in the ass. 

The photo booth stopped being a harrowing experience, with strange women of all ages hanging all over him while getting a picture to commemorate their visit. There were the occasional guys who stopped in for a photo op, but Iwaizumi was far more comfortable with them than flocks of females. 

He never did figure out how one was supposed to talk to girls. Oikawa had always been adept at it, though utter shit when it came to keeping them, and Iwaizumi bit back the urge to ask for pointers at least twice a day.

After his second weekend was over, Sawamura nudged him in the locker room and asked, “Hey, you wanna catch a movie later?”

He wanted to say yes, which wasn’t a problem because Sawamura was a cool guy, but the way his stomach fluttered at the concept was definitely something to give him pause. 

Eh, fuck pause. “Yeah, sure.”

“Cool.” Shimmying out of his shorts right at Iwaizumi’s eye level, Sawamura started humming under his breath, and Iwaizumi could barely swallow a sigh. 

Iwaizumi blushed and averted his gaze toward the floor between his feet. He was fairly certain that every sitcom that ever aired had warned of the dangers of being attracted to a coworker, and this moment clarified why that was.

So he liked Sawamura a little bit past the friendly stage. Was pursuing that really worth risking the fastest friendship he had ever cultivated, or making them both awkward and miserable when they worked together?

Or seeing that carefree smile melt into a sneer of disgust.

Instead, Iwaizumi went to a perfectly moronic action flick with Sawamura, stuffing himself full of popcorn and sugar even after eating a giant pile of food from a nearby buffet. Neither of them were steady on their feet when they drifted out of the theater. 

Making a pit stop at a nearby patio table outside an ice cream shop, Iwaizumi sprawled out in the chair and moaned. “I think the popcorn’s reproducing. Stupid mitosis.”

Sawamura chortled but quickly swallowed it, his face pinched. “Yeah, I think you’re right. Mind if we hang out here for a while so I don’t ralph as soon as I stand up?”

“Agreed.” Iwaizumi sagged into his chair and closed his eyes. “So, uh, what do you do for fun other than babysit the new guy at work?”

“Ha!” Sawamura harrumphed and mirrored Iwaizumi’s posture. “Not much, really. Homework? Visiting my family when I get a chance.” 

A lot more about Sawamura made sense then. “Ah, you have siblings, don’t you? Your chaos management skills are too sharp to be natural.”

Sawamura cackled. “Yeah, they’re nine and ten. My sister’s already asserting her dominance, and she’s the younger one.”

Iwaizumi had a younger brother, but their dynamic was less rivalry and more comrades. “My brother’s chill. He just wants to watch game shows and dream about baseball all day.”

They fell silent, and Iwaizumi’s belly started wrenching into a knot of nerves. Finally, he asked, “Mind if we take a walk before I forget how my legs work?”

Meandering away from the theater, they found themselves in the public park behind it. The well groomed landscape and ample shade fought off the lingering warmth of June. The air smelled like fresh cut grass, and Iwaizumi’s mind was already far away from the illness-inducing amount of junk food he had consumed.

“I forget how nice this place is,” Sawamura said. “Back when I used to walk to work, I’d cut through here to save time. I had to cross the stream on a log.” He grabbed Iwaizumi’s elbow and tugged him toward a distant corner of the park. “C’mon. I wanna see if it’s still there.”

They ended up jogging the rest of the way, the malaise of overeating starting to wear off. Upon arrival, Iwaizumi noticed a giant log spanning the water. “Well I guess that’s your answer.”

“Awesome.” Sawamura bounded over to the log and eyed it. “Looks solid still,” he said before climbing onto it. He shot Iwaizumi a questioning look. “Uh, I don’t suppose you’d make fun of me for showing off, would you?”

Iwaizumi quirked a brow. “I don’t even know how to answer that. No? I guess.”

Beaming, Sawamura squared up on the end of the long, straight log, arms in the air. Iwaizumi watched with wide eyes and bated breath as Sawamura crossed the log in a series of handsprings, reaching the end with just enough space to stick the landing and bow.

Mid-bow, however, Sawamura wobbled and fell backwards off the log, landing in the grass behind him with a squeak. “Shit,” Iwaizumi hissed, crossing as quickly as he could without falling into the stream. 

When he reached the other side, he found Sawamura spread eagle on the grass laughing. “That was about as smooth as sandpaper.” 

“Are you okay?” Iwaizumi dropped to his knees and grabbed each one of Daichi’s limbs to make sure they could still move

Sawamura’s hand wrapped around Iwaizumi’s wrist on the last arm, and he sat up, tousled with cheeks wet with laughing tears. “I’m fine. It’s not the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and it won’t be the last.”

Iwaizumi could hear his heart beating in his ears, racing from a cocktail of panic and heightened awareness of the rough fingertips resting over his pulse, of Sawamura’s face hovering almost close enough to his for their noses to touch.

Oh, he was in deep shit.

“Eh, Hajime?” Sawamura murmured, licking his bottom lip.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I kind of wanna kiss you right now.” 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and slipped his hand around Sawamura’s neck. “There’s no wrong way to take that.” With that, he pressed his lips against Sawamura’s for an uncoordinated and incredibly satisfying kiss.

Growling against Iwaizumi’s lips, Sawamura dragged Iwaizumi onto his lap, and their limbs spidered around each other while their mouths worked together in an urgent frenzy.

Light-headed from empty lungs, Iwaizumi wrenched away panting, but his arms stayed firmly latched around Sawamura’s midriff. “Well that happened.”

“Yeah.” Sawamura pecked a kiss to Iwaizumi’s jaw and smiled against his skin. “I’ve been wanting to do that forever.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “We’ve known each other for two weeks, dude. I don’t think that qualifies as forever in any universe.”

“Mmm, shut up.” He pulled Iwaizumi in for another kiss, this one lazy and indulgent. When their lips parted with Daichi’s teeth strumming Iwaizumi’s lower lip, hands that could demolish a beer can in nothing flat gently traced the curve of Iwaizumi’s jaw. “I suck at the dating thing, so if you just wanna wing it and see where this goes, I’m game.”

Nodding, Iwaizumi leaned into Sawamura’s touch. “Yeah, I’m down with that. Besides, I can’t flirt even if my life depended on it. Nobody else would have me.”

“Their loss,” Daichi hummed, lying back on a sun-dappled patch of grass and bringing Iwaizumi along with him, eyes closed. “So, uh, I’m probably gonna fall asleep.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes were also drooping in the warmth of the sun. “Mood,” he said while he tucked into Sawamura’s side. “Last one waking up gets dumped in the water.”

Sawamura chuckled and wrapped his arm tighter around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, Jordan, I sinceriously hope you liked it, and Happy Valentine's Day!


End file.
